I'm Wearing One.

My lovely sister, Rita, took this photo in Monticatini, Italy. Mid-October, 2005.




For the uninitiated, and for those who have never seen Fellini's amazing film "8 1/2", Monticatini is a spa town in Northern Italy. (Most of 8 1/2 was filmed there.) Europeans have flocked to Montecatini for hundreds of years to take the restorative waters and now, for more traditional beauty treatments. Like mud baths and inhalation therapy. Here's a direct quote from one of the Spa web sites:

"The spa waters of Montecatini are unique in the world and contain precious elements to restore your organism.
bromine • calcium • chlorine • iodine • lithium • magnesium • potassium • sodium sulphate
Inhalation treatment with alkaline saline sulphate waters is indicated in chronic inflammation of the upper respiratory tract as sodium chloride, their main component, has a marked bactericide action and stimulates the defences of the mucous membranes."

Hmmm. I think my mucous membranes have a fairly intact defense system. Some of these treatments sound pretty scary, like nasal douches, but the Italians I saw on the streets of Montecatini looked pretty good, so maybe they've got something that American's have yet to discover.

How about an "ascending intestinal douche?" Thanks, I think I'll pass. I'd rather beat my head against a wall. Unless it's a weight-loss treatment. Then I'm in.



How could such bizarre treatments -- which are open to anyone who can pay -- take place in such lovely surroundings. Definitly the dark side. Definitely.

Here are some of your other beauty treatment options:
• Direct jet inhalation treatment (wet inhalation). (The photos are disturbing!)
• Nasal douches
• Tubal insufflation of the tympanum

• Fangotherapy with therapeutic bath and rest. (some sort of special mineral mud treatment which requires resting afterwards!)
• Gynaecological irrigations (your yearly gyno exam isn't enough, you need an irrigation?!)
• Ascending intestinal douches

I was wondering about the proximity of a foundation undergarment store to the spas, but after all that irrigating and insufflation perhaps one needs some help holding it all together.

Listening to: "Otto e mezzo" Nino Rota from 8 1/2.
Snacking on: FRITOS!
Reading: Robert Graves short story, "The Shout," 1924.