Nora's Big Adventure -- Christmas '06

A Christmas holiday where we willingly split up the family was bound to go wrong somewhere. One daughter and son left behind in Minneapolis while the other half of The Offspring head west to Palm Springs. . . Yes, the Gods of Tradition looked down. Saw that it was bad. Chaos ensued.

The Gods of Tradition prefer White Christmas, Bing Crosby, and Ella Fitzgerald singing Christmas in Vermont, Johnny Mathis singing We need a Little Christmas. Hell, they even prefer John Lee Hooker singing Blues for Christmas. Even though the Baby Jesus was born in a desert, it doesn't mean that you abandon your Midwest traditions and head to California.

Christmas 2006 -- aka: (No) Trains, Planes and Automobiles. Substitute crack smoking moms on a greyhound bus for John Candy's accordian-playing polka band in the back of a van and you've got an idea of Nora's journey west.

Unfortunatly, this happened to Nora (and 3,000 other people).
The rest of the journey was designed by Rube Goldberg.

Here's the Reader's Digest version:
Wednesday, Dec. 20.
- Nora leaves Laguardia airport for Palm Springs via Denver.
- Flight cancelled. Airport eventually closed. For 5 days.
- Nora sleeps in the airport.
Thursday, Dec. 21.
- Colleague who works in Denver branch office rescues her for 1 night.
Friday, Dec. 22.
- Spends day in Greyhound Bus Depot waiting to elbow her way onto a bus from Denver to Vegas.
- Spends night on bus. Let's not discuss the fact she was making out with her seat mate, a science nerd grad student. OK. Mom's don't need to know that.
Saturday, Dec. 23
- Arrives in Vegas in the morning. Cab to airport. Flight to Phoenix.
- Misses early connection in Phoenix to Palm Springs.
- Gets 6:30 flight. Arrives in Palm Springs at 8 pm.
Sunday, Dec. 24
- Spend the day on the phone w/ United Airlines tracking baggage. (Swear to never, never, ever in a million years fly on United Airlines. Ever again. Never.)
Monday, Dec. 25
- Drive to Ontario, CA airport to fetch her baggage. 97 miles each way. This is quality, family time with Nora, Austin and Lorelei.
AND we discover that the dinosaur park from Pee Wee's Big Adventure is a real place. On Interstate 10, Cabazon, California.

Strangely, there are a lot of people out on the highways on Christmas Day and a fair number stop to visit the Dinosaurs. The gift shop INSIDE the dino is open. I purchase 2 postcards for .38 and think about having a white Christmas. Next year.